I love the New Years' tradition of creating resolutions! What a gift to give to yourself! Typically, in the week between Christmas and New Year's day I take time to review and reflect on my life over the last year. I get a nice cup of my favorite tea, get out last year's calendar and evaluate my year based on 7 different categories. Looking through my calendar is a helpful practice because it jogs my memory. It's so surprising to see what all has happened in the last year. These are the seven categories I look at.
What has worked? I take a look at habits and behaviors that were rewarding. Self-care. Daily and weekly routines. What did I do in order to achieve something? What brought peace? What encouraged connection? When did I surprise myself? When did a dare to stretch myself? Define those behaviors.
What has not worked? It is so worth it to take a moment and get clear on habits that aren't serving me. This can be uncomfortable, but that's a good thing. Discomfort promotes change and growth. So get uncomfortable for a minute and recognize the costs of bad habits. Sometimes I write immediately what I want to do instead, at other times this may take more reflection and research.
Bring Forward... Based on all the habits I have just reviewed, what do I want to continue? What would I like to do more of?
Bring In... Based on what has not worked, what would I like to do instead. Like I said before, sometimes I will know right away and other issues take more time and reflection. In this case I may introduce a habit of reading a book on the subject I am struggling with. Reading is cathartic. It introduces more concepts and develops them more completely. It increases your focus. Books also have to support their claims and will have references so you can continue to understand and validate the concepts that are being forwarded.
Favorite Moments This is another form of gratitude work. I cannot stress enough the value of gratitude exercises. Gratitude actually stimulates growth because it reinforces the good you already have around you, and if good things are already happening, more is possible. Take note of the events of the last year. Moments of achievement, connection, joy, perseverance, etc. What did you enjoy about them? How did it make you feel?
Lessons Learned Now that I have reviewed the events, habits (both good and bad), achievements, and a variety of positive moments, what are the take a way lessons? This is a great way to synthesize learning and gaining additional insights.
Goals Design goals that are achievable. Choose no more than 3. Write down why these goals are important. What are you hoping to gain? How would life look different? What would happen if you don't fulfill your goals?
Reviewing the year with its trip-ups, let-downs, heartaches and joys can show you what do in the future? Can you communicate better? How would your priorities change? What habits steal your joy? Does your life truly reflect your values? 100% of the time we invite misery when how we live doesn't match what we truly value. Get those values right side up!
Ask yourself, if I was living in a way that reflected my values what would my life look like? How would I work? How would I play? How would I connect? How would I grow? Out of this comes our resolutions. These resolutions are powered by more than good ideas. They come out of our passions, our heart, our "why".
Put it in the calendar! I cannot emphasize enough the importance of writing out your week and planning and evaluating your growth. Personally, I am quite visual and enjoying physically writing out my schedule on to a weekly calendar. I can see ahead where I am busy and where the gaps are to plug in new habits.
Once it is in the calendar, every week evaluate how things went. I usually do this Sunday evening while I am writing out my schedule for the next week.
CELEBRATE when you follow through! Notice how good you feel and what positive emotions are experiencing. I often use the assistance of my favorite feeling wheel. Try putting together a statement like this: "Doing this made me feel so...... because...." Savor what is good. Enjoy the feelings. We spend so much time noticing the negative, and then don't value the positive when it comes. It is bananas that we hold ourselves back from enjoying growth until we get the magical "silver donut." Growth is the reward!
What if I didn't follow through? Don't judge it! This is the hunt we've been on! What has kept you from being who you really want to be? This is major good stuff in that it is getting you closer to identifying the barrier that has been holding you back. Make a note in your calendar every time you miss and what kept you from following through. How could you set up next week differently? Is there a better time of day? Do you need to adjust your expectations? Do you need to adjust your mindset? Set up the schedule again for next week and make adjustments to get over, around, under, or through that barrier! I've done this tracking before and after a few weeks I noticed I kept writing "I'm tired." So I found a way to slide in a 20 minute power nap, and low and behold I could follow through. Who knew, right?!
Tips for mindset. Change your mentality from "I have to do this", "I need to do this" to "I get to do this." I did this when I returned to the gym in 2007. I looked around and couldn't stop smiling. My heart was so full. I kept thinking "I am finally here! I get to do what I've always wanted to do." I'm not going to lie and say every day feels like this but most days do!
If you need further assistance to help address these barriers, reach out and I'll assist you in getting through the things that have been limiting you!
Resolve to live 2024 being more true to the real you!
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